Move Over Please
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation
between a US naval
ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland
in October 1995.
Canadians: "Please divert your course by 15 degrees
south to avoid a collision".
Americans: "Recommend that you divert your course
by 15 degrees north to avoid a collision".
Canadians: "Negative. You have to divert your course
by 15 degrees south to avoid a collision".
Americans: "This is the Captain of a US Navy ship.
I say again, divert YOUR course".
Canadians: "No. I say again divert YOUR course".
Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN.
THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES'
WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS,
THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.
I DEMAND THAT YOU
CHANGE YOUR COURSE BY 15 DEGREES NORTH,
I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH,
OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN
TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP".
Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call".
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling
very lonely, so God asked him,
"What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion
and that it would be a woman.
He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for
you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you.
She will always agree with every decision you make,
she will bear your children and never ask you to get up in
the middle of the night to take care of them.
She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit
she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.
She will never have a headache and will freely
give you love and passion whenever you need it".
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history....
Signs That You're Growing OLD
Your potted plants stay alive.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
You carry an umbrella ... because you watch the Weather channel
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
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Facts and history of the Canadian 10 Provinces
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