Keep That The Fork   

The sound of Martha's voice on the other end of
telephone always brought a smile to Father Jim's
face. She was not only one of the oldest member
of the congregation, but one of the most faithful.

Aunty Martie, as all of the childre called her,
just seemed to ozze faith, hope and love
wherever she went. However, there seemed to
be an unusal tone to her words.

"Father, could you stop by this afternoon?
I need to talk to you" martha asked.

"Of course, I'll be there around three.
Is that Ok?" Father Jim replied

It didn't take long for Father Jim to discover
the reason for what he had only sensed in her
voice before, As they sat facing each other.

In the quiet of her small living room,
Martha shared the news that the Doctor had just
discovered a previously undetected Tumor.
"He says I probably have six months to live"
Words were naturally serious, yet there was a
definite calm about her

"I'm so sorry to...."
but before father Jim could finish.
Martha interrupted.
"Don't be. The Lord has been good.
I have lived a long life, I'm ready to go.
You know that" "I know " Father Jim whispered
with a reassuring nod.

"But I do want to talk with you about my
funeral. I have been thinking about it,
and there are things that I know I want.

The two talked quietly for a long time
They talked about Martha's favorite hymns,
the passages of Scripture that had meant so much
to her though the years, and the many memories
they shared from the five years that Father Jim
had been with the parish.

When it seemed that they had covered just
everything, Martha paused, looking up at
Father Jim with a twinkle in her eyes,
and then added "One more thing, father.
When they bury me, I want my old Bible in
one hand and a fork in the other.

"A fork" Jim was sure he had heard everything,
but this caught him by suprise.
"Why do you want to be buried with a fork?"

"I have been thinking about all the church
dinners and banquets that I attended though the
year's," she explained. "I couldn't begin to
count them all. But one thing stick
in my mind At those realy nice get-togethers,
when the meal was almost finished ,
a server or maybe the hostess would come by
to collect the dirty dishes. Sometimes, at
the best ones. someone would lean over my
shoulders and whisper

"I can hear the words now"
"You can keep your fork"

And do you know what that meant?
Dessert was coming!
"It didn't meen a Cup of Jello-O or pudding
or even a dish of ice cream. you don't need a
fork for that, it meant the good stuff,
like chocolate cake or cherry pie!
When they told me I could keep my fork I
knew the best was yet to come"

"That's exactly what I want people to talk
about at my funeral. Oh. they can talk about
all the good times we had together,
that would be nice. But when they walk by my
casket and look at my pretty dress,
I want them to turn to one another and say,

"Why the fork?"
That's when I want you to say,
I want you to tell them, "that I kept my fork
because the is yet to come!"

    A Day In Life    
Of Martha Stewart

  Monday, 9:00a.m.  

This perfectly delightful note is being
sent on paper I made myself, to tell you
what I have been up to.

Since it snowed last night,
I got up early and made a sled
with old wood and glue gun.
I hand painted it in gold leaf.
Got out my loom, and made a blanket in
peaches and mauves.
Then to make the sled complete,
I made a white horse to pull
it from DNA that was sitting around in
my crafts room.

By then it was time to start making the
place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast
guests, I'm serving the standard Stewart
twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in
on a secret: I didn't have time to make
the table and chairs this morning,
so I used the ones I had on hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room,
I decided to add just a touch of the holidays.
So I repainted the room in pink and stenciled
gold stars on the cieling.

Then while the bread was rising, I took
antique candle molds and made the dishes
(exactly the same shade of pink) to use
for breakfast.
They were made from Hungarian clay,
which you can get on almost any hungarian
craft store.

Well, I must run. I need to to finish the
buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast.
I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the
post office as soon as the glue
dries on the envelope I'll be making.

Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long-
I have 40.000 cranberries to string with bay
leaves before my speaking engagement at noon.
Love Martha Stewart.

p:s: When i made the ribbon for this typewriter,
I used 1/8=inch gold gauze. I soaked the gauze
in a mixture of white grapes and blacberries
which I grew, picked, and crushed last week
just for fun.

Signs You are Broke

1. American Express calls and says:
"Leave home without it!"

2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking
a deep breath outside a restaurant.

3. You're formulating a plan to rob
the food bank.

4. You've rolled so many pennies,
you've formed a psychic bond
with Abe Lincoln.

5. Long distance companies don't call
you to switch.

6. You look at your roommate and see a large
fried chicken in tennis shoes.

7.Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul.

8.You finally clean your house,
hoping to find change.

9.You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

10. Your bologna has no first name.

11. You give blood everyday...
just for the orange juice.

12. Sally Struthers sends you food.

13. McDonalds supplies you with all
your kitchen condiments.

14. At communion you go back for seconds.

15. You save your expired milk
to make homemade cottage cheese.


No moving parts, no batteries.
No monthly payments and no fees;
Inflation proof, non-taxable,
In fact, it's quite relaxable;
It can't be stolen, won't pollute,
One size fits all, do not dilute.
It uses little energy,
But yields results enormously.

Relieves your tension and your stress,
Invigorate your happiness;
Combats depression, makes you beam,
And elevates your self esteem!
Your circulation it corrects
Without unpleasant side effects
It is, I think, the perfect drug:

May I prescribe, my friend,. The Hug!

(And, of course, fully returnable!)

Navigation Around My Pages

I call This Page
The Ever Changing page
This month Happy Mothers day

Facts and history of the Canadian 10 Provinces
and 3 Territories

Page 12: Page 13: Page 14:
Page 15: Page 16: Page 17:
Page 18: Page 19: Page 20:
Page 21: Page 22: Page 23:
Page 24: Page 25: Page 26:
Page 27: Page 28: Page 29:
Page 30: Page 31: Page 32:

As a member of Digital Delilah I am in competition
with other members for recognition.
If like my site I would appreciate a vote from you.
To vote simply click on the banner below and it will
take you to the proper site.
This week I am competing with other members in the
DD Doves. in team ~Serenity~

Please take a few momments to
Vote For Me At Topsites Canada


Maple Leaf   Proud Canadian   Maple Leaf

Page has been visited times