Six year old Angie and her 4 year old brother Joel were sitting in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the door, "See those 2 men? They're hushers."
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "How are we alike?" He replied, "You're both old."
A ten year old, under the tuleage of her grandmother was becoming very knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus~the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
I had been teaching my 3 year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines of the prayer. Finally she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
And one particular 4 year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets, as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife turned back and was turned into salt."
His son asked,"What happened to the flea?"
A father was at the beach one day with his children, when his 4 year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand and led him to where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. His father replied,"He died and went to heaven."
The boy thought a moment and then said,"Did God throw him back down?"
Once there was this very wealthy young man. He lived in a great,
elaborate house with dozens of rooms. Each room was more comfortable
and more beautiful than the one before it. There were paintings and
sculptures. Crystal chandeliers, golden, ornate railings on the
stairs. More beauty than most have ever seen.
One day he decided to invite the Lord to come home and stay with him.
When the Lord arrived, this young man offered him the very best room
in the house. The room was upstairs and at the end of the hall. "This
room is yours, Jesus! Stay as long as you like and you can do
whatever you want to in this room, remember Jesus, its all yours."
That evening after he had retired for the night there came a loud
knocking at the front door. The young man pulled on his robe and made
his way downstairs. When he opened the door he found that the devil
had sent three of his demons to attack the man. He quickly tried to
close the door but one of the demons kept sticking his foot in.
Sometime later, after a great struggle, he managed to slam the door
shut and returned to his room totally exhausted. Can you believe
that," the man thought. Jesus is upstairs in my very best room
sleeping while I am down here battling demons. Oh, well, maybe he
just didn't hear. He slept fitfully that night.
The next day thing went along as normal and, being tired as he was,
the young man retired early that evening.
Along about midnight, there came such a terrible ruckus at the front
door that the young man was sure that whatever it was would tear the
door down. He stumbled down the stairs once again and opened the door
to find that were dozens of demons now trying to get into his
beautiful home. For more than three hours he fought and struggled
against the demons from hell, and finally overtook them enough to
shut the door against their attack.
All energy seemed to fail him. He really didn't understand this at
all. Why won't the Lord come to my rescue? Why does he allow me to
fight all by myself? I feel so alone. Troubled, he found his way to
the sofa and fell into a restless sleep.
The next morning he decided to inquire of the Lord about the
happenings of the last two evenings. Quietly he made his way to the
elegant bedroom where he had left Jesus.
"Jesus," he called as he tapped at the door. "Lord, I don't
understand what is happening. For the last two nights I have had
to fight the demons away from my door while you laid up here
sleeping. Don't you care about me? Did I not give you the very best
room in the house?"
He could see the tears building in Jesus' eyes but continued on, "I
just don't understand, I really thought that once I invited you in to
live with me that you would take care of me and I gave you the best
room in my house and everything. What more can I do?"
"My precious child," Jesus spoke so softly. "I do love and care for
you. You invited me to come here and stay, you brought me to this
lovely room and you shut the door to the rest of your house. I am
Lord of this room but I am not Master of this house. I have protected
this room and no demon may enter here."
"Oh, Lord, please forgive me. Take all of my house -- it is yours. I
am so sorry that I never offered you all to begin with. I want you to
have control of everything." With this he flung open the bedroom door
and knelt at Jesus' feet. "Please forgive me Lord for being so
Jesus smiled and told him that He had already forgiven him and that
He would take care of things from now on. That night as the young man
prepared for bed he thought, I wonder if those demons will return, I
am so tired of fighting them each and every night. But, he knew that
Jesus said that he would take care of things from now on.
Along about midnight the banging on the door was frightening. The
young man slipped out of his room in time to see Jesus going down the
stairs. He watched in awe as Jesus swung open the door, no need to
There is a moral to this tale. Jesus wants all of you, not just a
He will take all that you give Him, but nothing more. How much of
heart have you given to the Lord? Are you keeping a portion of it
away from Him?
Perhaps the attacks are coming more and more each day. Why not let
the Lord fight the battles for you? He is always victorious. I have
found that God made man simple, all of man's complexities are of his
"Crabbit Old Woman"
What do you see, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me-
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice,
I do wish you'd try.
Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is loosing a stocking or shoe.
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding the long day is fill.
Is that what you're thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes,
nurse, you're looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still!
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another-
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet,
A bride soon at 20- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At 25 now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure happy home;
A woman of 30, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
At 50 once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years and the love that I've known;
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel-
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart,
But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joy, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few- gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last-
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see,
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer-